You want us to do WHAT?
by Shadowdib
Summary: When you throw everyone from IZ into a room and make them take dares, what happens? Chaos! T in case the dares get a little 'teen-y' or violent.
1. Chapter 1

"Where the heck are we?" The boyish, somewhat whiny voice echoed throughout the plain white room. Dib swiveled his head. "And why are we all in white?" He turned to the small crowd of irkens and various humans on the other side of the room.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Zim roared. They immediately began bickering.

"No. This is MY fault, Zimmikens." The voice was floating down from the ceiling, and about twenty heads looked up to try and place it. A girl, about fourteen, was floating there with a wide grin on her face. Her black hair was fanned out above her shoulders, with red streaks dripping down onto her shoulders like rain. She wore a long burgundy robe, and had on black pants and boots underneath-her shirt wasn't visible. With her bone-white skin, she looked almost like a vampire, but the huge pencil that she twirled like a cane almost changed the image to that of a demented ringmaster.

"Who are _you_?" Dib asked as she snapped her fingers. A large clear platform appeared, and as soon as her boot hit it the gravity in the room seemed to shut off for everyone but the girl. Every human, Irken, and the Vortian in the corner suddenly floated up about three inches into the air. Zim instantly started clawing down, but Dib just crossed his legs.

"Oh crap… this is one of those 'we have to take dares' things, isn't it?" The girl nodded at him, her blood-red eyes sparkling in anticipation. The platform lowered so she was even with her 'prisoners'.

"Look around, my little dear. What of this do you have to fear? I'll take some suggestions, a fun choice or two, and soon we'll see what you have to do!" Dib rolled his eyes as he glanced around, taking a good look at his surroundings. They were in a fairly plain room, by that meaning there were no windows or doors. Of course. Why would he expect any different? The walls were gently pulsing an orangish-red, reminding him of a campfire by the occasional shots of color that rocketed through them. The floor they were standing on was plain white tile, albeit very large ones, about five feet across each. Aliens were all around, with names obviously typed floating above them inside a small white rectangle. Dib only recognized three-Tak, of course, who had her arms crossed and was absently petting Mimi in cat disguise. The Irken leaders that he called 'Red' and 'Purple' by their eye colors and uniforms were talking to each other in hushed voices. (Huh… apparently their names were actually Red and Purple. Weird…) Some of the other aliens had names like 'Larr Narr', and the two tiny irkens, one named 'Bob'… and the really chubby one was about Zim's height, and named 'Skooge'.

"How long will we be here? I've got a game contest at the mall tomorrow." Gaz called to the girl.

"It really depends on what the reviews say. But relax, little Gazlene, you'll get your time to play." Gaz's fists clenched as she sprung up towards the teen.

"_No one _calls me that!" With a quick wave of her pencil, the girl was halted in midair.

"No one will be hurting _me_ I'm afraid." She swiveled her head. "I can stop even Gaz with ease- is my point clearly made?" Almost everyone nodded, except for Gaz who just squinted at the girl with utter loathing. The ringmaster dropped the girl back into her floating position. "Now, if you touch the tiles a dare has been given to you, and there's no way to back out so it's what you'll have to do. My name is Shadow, the head of this little show, so now let's start the game- just go with the flow!" She pulled out a scroll from her pocket, before a little irken appeared next to her. "This is Kyra, my assistant for today. Be nice to both of us, and you might even enjoy your stay!"

"I don't talk in rhyme, luckily." The Irken said, her voice fairly high, suggesting she was younger then Zim and Tak. One of her antennae was about half an inch shorter than the other, and every time she finished a sentence it twitched. She had on a dark green jumpsuit with a patch bearing the numbers '51' over her breast pocket. Black boots and gloves finished her ensemble as she blinked wide purple eyes. "Now, here are the rules." Shadow handed the girl the scroll, which she quickly unrolled.

"Rule one: no contestant may leave for any period of time, unless for a dare- specific reason.. Rule two: any pairing goes. Crack or not. Considering pairing almost anyone with anyone here is crack, this should go without saying. Rule three: if a dare consists of things that anyone under thirteen should not be seeing, the dare shall take place in the next room, and contestants will be brought back as soon as the dare is finished. Violence of any sort shall take place in the main room, unless romance is intended with the violence. Rule four: have fun with this!" She squinted. "Oh, wait, there's a little disclaimer… 'Any persons wanting to come into the room to help with their own dare are free to do so, as long as they give Shadow a description of themselves and their personality.'" She rolled up the scroll, her short antennae bouncing. "So, let's get this party started!"

"Do we _all_ have to be here?" Tak asked, drumming her fingers against Mimi's head. Shadow came back with a response almost instantly, accompanied with a wide toothy grin that showed off short fangs.

"Yes, of course, my Irken friend. Otherwise we could hit a dead end. The dares could come for any of you-so watch your backs, for even I have no clue what will happen to who…"

* * *

A/N I know what you're all thinking. 'OH SWEET IRK, ANOTHER ONE?' But I really wanted to do this. If I get about three reviews with dares, or about four or five days pass, whichever happens last, I'll keep doing this. I know this'll be fun… plus I get to speak in rhyme, woo. Kyra's my OC, but probably none of you know her. She won't be too important, she'll just say the dares, and anything I can't put it in rhyme. It's faintly in Dib's perspective because I wasn't sure how to do this, but it will be hopefully neutral for the next chapters. This is just for when I feel too excited to sit down and write good plot and character building for Crushing the Code... or for when I'm really bored. So… please leave a dare for the characters, and have fun!


	2. Chapter 2

H A/N Wow. That was fast. You people must like these… now, on to the dares! (Note- Mya is also based off me. I'm a Dib fan. In case you didn't know. So, she's a short little self insert for a few sentences. Sorry…)

* * *

Shadow surveyed the scene, satisfied. Every person, alien or otherwise, was dressed plainly in white versions of their normal outfits. The only exceptions were the Tallests, who had red and purple highlights running down their skirts to identify them easier. Everyone was talking over each other, trying to figure out what to do, when suddenly Dib, Zim, and both of the Tallests lit up brightly. Red and Purple were their namesake colors, Dib was dark blue, and Zim was actually dark pink. They all dropped heavily unto the ground. The tiles underneath them glowed their respective colors as suddenly a large swirling rainbow colored portal appeared in the corner. "The dares have been sent, quite quickly I might add, so it's time the first four up went so the fans can be glad!" Shadow sang out happily, her eyes glittering manically.

"What... What's going on? What was the dare?" Dib asked frantically, expecting monsters or something to come out of the portal as it suddenly pulsed dark blue and his own glow intensified.

"Dare 1 by the R. L Sisters- have the characters meet their fandoms." Kyra recited blankly, her eyes glazed and her body rigid.

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to say- Kyra is the only irken here who won't play. She recites the dares for all of you, but she won't overstep what she's supposed to do." Shadow informed everyone with another dramatic wave of her pencil. Suddenly, there was a rumbling noise as the portal erupted, with about fifteen people falling over each other and laughing.

"Up first-Dib's fanbase." Kyra stated happily, her moment of looking eerily like she was possessed over.

"Huh, how bad could it-" The boy himself started, before-

"DIB!"

"-Be?" The boy finished with a squeak as he was bowled over by a preteen girl in a blue shirt and leather jacket. The girl was cuddling up to him like a puppy.

"Aw, he's even cuter in real life!" The girl exclaimed as Dib tried to squirm away.

"Get... Off!" The girl only gripped him tighter. At this point, the boy was turning faintly pink both from embarrassment and loss of oxygen. Zim was laughing his little alien butt off as two more girls tackled the boy, finally sending him down.

"Hey! Get off him!" Three girls started pulling the rabid ones off of poor Dib, who was gasping for air.

"T-thanks…" He choked out. One of the girls stepped forward, about fourteen, but it was hard to tell. She had on a shirt identical to Dib's usual one, but other than her black jeans she had on white sneakers and a purple-streaked-with-white coat.

"It's no problem. Those give the rest of us a bad rep, Dibbers. You're beyond awesome, but…" She looked back to the four girls desperately restraining the three insane fangirls. "Those who only think you're 'hot' really are kinda weird. I mean, don't get me _wrong_, you _are_ adorable, but not that much, and there's _so_ much more to you…" Dib's face officially turned bright red at that.

"Thanks…."

"Hey, I've got his original clothes here!" Kyra called out, waving a black and blue blur over her head. At that, the fangirls broke off and raced towards the platform like dogs. Dib got knocked down on his butt, wincing. The girl from before helped him up.

"Who are you?"

"Most call me Mya." She nodded happily holding out a hand. He smiled at her and shook it, before the portal started humming loudly. "Oops, that's our cue. Hopefully I'll see you again sometime?"

"Yeah, hopefully… Mya." With that, the girl turned and walked back into the portal, the girls dragging the ones carrying his clothes in. For the first time, he noticed two boys who tipped their baseball caps to him before the portal sealed. As soon as the blue on it faded, Dib floated back up into the air.

"Next up… Zim!" Kyra called. The portal shifted to maroon as a dull roar started up. Zim was starting to look nervous, but he tried to hide it. A wave of movement suddenly washed out of the gateway as teens of all sizes shot out of the portal, heading straight for Zim who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"ZIM!" They grinned, all picking him up in a style reminiscent to the 'Saucer Morons'. A bunch of the girls were clawing at his face, cooing pathetic baby talk, but most of the boys were cheering. Zim smirked at Dib.

"See, _my_ fans are much more sophisticated!" Suddenly, one of the guys shouted,

"That's Dib! Get him!" Dib's eyes widened as about twenty of the people suddenly started chasing him.

"Hey! Leave me alone!" The boy swatted behind himself as they tried to grab for him. Zim feel to the ground with a resolute 'thump', grinning at Dib's misfortune as a young woman smiled at him. She was wearing a pair of green goggle with small circles to the side, as if she'd plucked them straight from Germs.

"Who are you?" He challenged, hopping to his feet and puffing up his chest.

"…Hmm. You can call me-" Before they could say anymore, one of the guys tackled Dib. The boy went down, and Zim suddenly sprung after then on his metallic appendages. The Irken pried the crowd off of the preteen who was breathing heavily with a long cut up his shirt where they'd managed to scrape him up.

"No one touches the Dib except ME!" Zim hissed at them, holding out his metal legs threateningly. "WHY would you EVEN-" The portal began to hum again, and half of Zim's fans hissed at it. The rest sighed loudly, waved, then quickly left. The rest followed them, with quick glances back.

"Next, to make this go quicker… both the Tallest! Another portal is for the Zim and Dib fans…." Kyra had a sort of half-grin, half-disgusted look on her face. "The fans of them _together_. _Romantically_." The reaction of both boys was instantaneous and violent. Zim, who was still standing right in front of Dib, ripped himself away and glared it the boy with confusion and loathing. Dib's face was a mask of disgust and confusion like Zim's. They both were leaning back despite being at least ten feet from each other. Another portal swirled into existence as the original one flickered between red and purple. Dib swallowed, Zim tensed, and the Tallests just clung to each other's shoulder armor for dear life, worried from what they'd already seen. As people started falling from both, they prepared themselves for the terror…

* * *

The next ten minutes consisted of half of girls chasing the Tallests around and trying to get them to make out, and the other half (which was way more than either Dib nor Zim liked to think about, and supposedly they were only a small portion of _those_ kinds of fans) chased Zim and Dib around trying to get _them_ to make out. Needless to say, Gaz, Tak, and almost everybody else found it hilarious, especially Larr Narr and Bob, who were watching the Tallests the whole time. Finally, the girls had to return, but the air was thick with the four people breathing hard, back to floating off the tile.

"Next da-aare!" Kyra sang out. "For everyone-french maid dresses!" With a snap of Shadow's fingers, the entire cast was in said uniforms-Gir was spinning around like a maniac, giggling, Gaz was seething, and Zim and Dib were laughing at each other considering they'd gotten the frilliest of them all. The Tallests were once again in dresses of their rightful colors, and actually were surprisingly okay with it…

"This isn't _too_ bad, I guess…" Dib muttered. "It's not like Zim doesn't wear a dress every day anyways…"

"Shut it!"

"I'll move to the next darer now!" Shadow called out. "AlmightySmallestMizena-" Both Tallests instantly started to protest, but she shut them up with one point of her pencil, and gags appeared over both mouths."-She gave _four_ dares. Wow…" Zim, Tak, and Red dropped, all groaning loudly.

"Lighten up. Tak, you only have to answer a question." Kyra informed Tak. The girl perked up a little at that. "Now, ahem. Zim, you have a question _and_ a dare. The question is, 'When you thought that the Planet Jackers were going to get away with Earth, and you said 'The Tallest will kill me for sure!', did you mean it?'" Zim scoffed.

"Of course not! I was just… a little worried at the time and possibly not thinking straight! The Tallests would never think of hurting me!"

"That's what _you_ think…" Tak muttered under her breath.

"And your dare is…" Kyra paused for dramatic effect, grinning. "You have to kiss Tak!"

"_What_!?" Both irkens yelled at the same time, looking at each other in horror. Zim was leaning back-_far_ back. Tak simply was blinking rapidly, unable to believe it. Dib grinned, settling back.

"THIS should be interesting." The boy commented, causing Zim to glare back at him.

"I fear no kiss!" To pretty much everyone's surprise, Zim suddenly closed the distance between him and Tak and jumped up on his tiptoes before yanking her a few inches down and pressing their lips together in a messy kiss. Tak's eyes were wide and shocked, while Zim's were squinted tightly closed. Silence fell in the five seconds the irkens were pressed tightly together at the mouth, before Zim let go of Tak's collar, panting. The female stared at him for a moment, before smacking him loudly across the face and leaving an instantly forming bruise-mark.

Kyra stared at both of them, and Shadow's red eyes were wide as she let out a maniac grin. "Well, that was easier than I thought it would be. The next dare is for... Let's see..." She started flipping through her notes. "Ah! Tak! You have a question, and this one's a bit more fun. My dearest exiled irken; do you have a crush on anyone?" Tak's eye twitched at 'exiled irken' but she straightened up to answer after hitting Zim one last time, right in the lower chest, causing him to wheeze loudly.

"Crush... Crush... I would have to say not. I have no time for such trivialities at the moment, and any sort of romantic inclinations are of _course_ strongly discouraged in civil irken society. I see no need for this 'crush.'" A sly smirk slid across her lips. "There are a few people I would _like_ to crush into flat little irken road kill," A sharp glare at Zim here, "But... The answer is no." She accented her point with a sharp nod as her feet left the tile.

"Now, Tallest Red, you have to hug Zim. _And_ you are forbidden to hurt him." Kyra said, her eyes glittering. She obviously loved not having to adhere to the 'Tallest' system. Red stared at Zim, and Zim stared back. Zim grinned, walking forward with a shrug. Red's eye twitched as Zim hopped up into his arms with an odd little purr. He curled his hands awkwardly around Zim's torso, closing his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened his arms and let Zim drop, letting out a loud sigh of relief after he lifted up.

"I guess that'll work." Kyra muttered. Zim floated up, eyes closed and tongue sticking slightly out, happy as a clam for the moment. Shadow's next words wiped the grin straight off his face, however.

"Now, for the dare which I'm sure you've been waiting, like no other!" Zim and Dib both dropped down, eyes wide and nails dug into crossed arms. "Dib and Zim, you both are comfortable in your hating of each other?"

"Of course!" They chorused, before blinking at each other in shock at the sudden in-syncness.

"Good, this should be interesting then." Kyra piped in. "Because your next dare is to make out!" The reaction was even better than it had been from Tak and Zim. The two took one look at each other before bolting to opposite ends of the room. Zim originally used his metal legs, before seeming to decide that they were too clunky and took off on foot. Dib actually slammed into the wall, falling into a little black and white heap.

"No! I'm not… no… ANYONE BUT THE DIB!" Zim screeched, staring at his nemesis, who was currently trying to catch his breath across the room.

"Oh, and by the way, the dare is from someone named 'I like LLAMAS'." Kyra added, fiddling with the patch on her shirt. Dib's eyes were kind of glossy.

"Might as well get it over with…" He said slowly, intending to whisper it to himself but his nervous, frantic pitch hyped his voice up a good few decibels.

"Dib-worm, what are you…?" Dib walked forward slowly, as if in a trance.

"Why not…?" Dib muttered, his eyes still glazed over with a hint of a red dazzle sparking through them. A quick glance up yielded Shadow quietly, chanting a slow spell.

"HYUMA-" Zim was cut off by Dib stopping approximately two inches in front of his face and holding a finger to the irken's lips.

"Shush." Zim slapped Dib's hand away, glaring up at Shadow.

"How _dare_ you-" He was again cut off by Dib, but this time by the lips locked harshly with his. It was obvious the boy had no experience, from the way his teeth chattered. The thin trail of smoke rising from their faces was noticed by almost no one, except for Zim, whom of course had eyes wider then they'd ever been and a steadily burning mouth from the dangerous saliva. They were locked together for almost thirty seconds before Zim finally managed to yank himself off. Dib's eyes cleared the second they separated, and the hazel irises were wide and confused with a hint of pure terror.

"What just…?"

"Don't get too comfortable yet, you two. There was another dare about both of you. You have to kiss again, I'm afraid… it's for the fans, so what the hey?" Shadow grinned, leaning against her pencil.

"The second dare was by Invader Griz Jau and Rel." Kyra added, before suddenly a flash of smoke appeared next to the irken. She shielded her eyes, but Shadow just stepped forward.

"We have a few new contestants, along with my friend Koneko." Shadow announced as Dib's knees shook, seeming to realize just what he'd just done. "They're here for the show!" At a snap of her fingers, the smoke cleared. Two irkens stood there, looking shocked and confused. Behind them was a tall, turquoise-eyed angel, with two dog tags, one golden and one silver around her neck. Her hair was streaked with the colors of the rainbow, her wings were pure white, and she had a slightly-crazy smirk on her face.

"Did I miss anything?" The angel said with her wide, insane grin. Shade shook her head.

"This is Koneko, everyone. She'll be a partial co-host, and is here for the fun. The irken with green eyes is Jau, and the other is Rel- now, why don't you two sit for a spell?" The irkens still looked faintly confused, but Jau was staring at the wide-eyed Zim. Rel had bright blue eyes and was glaring out into the crowd.

"Why are we here?" She asked loudly to Shadow, but the little irken next to the ringmaster answered.

"Because _she_ wanted to have some fun with you two." Kyra said shortly, poking a finger towards Koneko. Everyone took in the two females-they wore typical irken uniforms, in the color of their eyes. They were pretty much the same height, about a few inches taller than Zim. "Now get down on the field!" Shadow pushed them off the platform, causing the girls to land on their backs. Zim gasped at their noticeable loss of Paks.

"How-"

"We don't talk about it." Rel said shortly, before both gasped as all the color was sucked out of their uniforms. Shadow nodded at them, satisfied. She raised one eye at Zim and waved a hand at Dib, a clear 'get on with it' gesture. Zim furrowed his forehead and eyes at her, causing a small crease to appear between his eyes. In probably an attempt to 'rebel' against what everyone expected, he gripped Dib's long hair lock and yanked the boy up to him, shoving their faces together messily. Now it was Dib's turn to have wide eyes, and he tried to pull the irken off of him. Zim was having none of it, and simply curled his claws around Dib's large head and shoved them even tighter together. Dib, seeming to resign himself, grabbed Zim's torso and pulled the other the last half-inch of leeway left. Jau stared at them, with her eyes (and mouth) wide and her antennae twitching. On stage, both teenage girls, ringmaster and angel, were just plain grinning like mad. Gir started cheering, clapping happily.

"Gah!" Zim finally shoved Dib away, before glaring at Shadow and Koneko with as much malice as he could.

"_Happy_?"

"Totally!" Koneko said, her voice perky. "Who's next?" Dib lifted up into the air, still looking like he'd just gotten hit by a bus but there was a vague smile on his face as he licked his lips. Gir, for the first time, fell heavily to the ground with a 'clang'. Zim, to his chagrin, stayed firmly on the tile as Rel and Jau rose up, Jau flailing in mid-air for a moment before settling on her stomach.

"Oh, this one's easy. From 'Invader Abigail', Zim has to say something nice about Gir." The irken blinked.

"That's it?" He turned to the robot, who immediately jumped up into his master's arms and nuzzled there, closing his eyes. Zim grinned for a moment before remembering that others were there and coughing loudly. "Well, Gir, you can occasionally be useful, I suppose, and I admit your company can be, eh, interesting… although you never listen I guess you're not that bad of a minion every once in a while." Shadow smiled warmly at the scene as the two of them left the floor, still 'hugging'.

"Now, the last dare for this chapter!" Kyra announced. Koneko had gotten a large light blue recliner somewhere, with holes for her wings. "Gangam style dancing for everyone, courtesy of AngelofDoom73!" Gaz was the first to speak.

"What the _heck_ is-" The video of the popular song started playing in the front of the room. Most of the people simply widened their eyes.

"Dance, puppets, dance!" Kyra teased, grabbing Shadow's pencil and waving it. In jerky motions, every single human and alien started doing the dance against their will. Except Gir, of course, who was having a blast and had sidled up to Gaz, who gave him a glare worthy of melting through steel . The Tallests couldn't really do it with their robes, so with a grin Shadow gave them back their old Elite uniforms, with a few added inches. Purple glared down at his, obviously remembering the hard times they'd had in them, but hey. At least now they were forced to participate. Koneko and Shade ended up dancing right next to Dib, who, other than Gir, was the only one actually getting the hang of it and was sort of having fun. After a while, (4 replays of the video) Shadow flew up above everyone and snapped her fingers. They all snapped to attention, moving back into their places.

"Ah, the thrill of having control. Now, I _know_ I didn't get to all the chances to rip apart each soul. However, about dares, after these people everyone gave a bunch. So, I'm just going to have to go off my hunch. I'll split your dares among the next few times, but please abide by this rhyme. Only leave a few dares, three or so. More reviewers can play- it's more fun then, you know!"

* * *

A/N Okay. I will get to your dares, but I wanted to get these up first, mkay? Other than one girl, who will be the first up next time, you all put up a whole bunch. Questions I don't mind, but longer dares… just be careful of how much you're asking of me, okay? Thank you. I've decided to take twelve dares, or ten reviewers. Whichever comes first.


End file.
